An agonising decision – but right

Not many people are “dumped” in care homes (Fr Ugo Ikwuka, Letters, 26 October). It takes a lot of soul-searching and praying when you have to make this decision. It certainly does not give you independence. My husband is in a care home for his own safety. He has Alzheimer’s. For a long time he was wandering across busy roundabouts, walking down duel carriageways and missing at night. During this time we waited for him to be brought home in a body bag or to be told he had caused a traffic accident. He is well looked after in the home he is in. We visit at least three times a week, and every time I leave him, I wonder if I have done the right thing. Deep down I know I have.

Has Fr Ugo thought that the man who was screaming might have been suffering from dementia and shouting in his frustration? If you have not looked after a loved one 24/7, you do not know what you are talking about. The Alzheimer’s Society has produced a lot of fact sheets and they can be found on the internet. They will give insights into how people with dementia react in different situations and how to deal with them with respect at all times. Another suggestion might be to give a carer a break by looking after their loved one for a few hours.

(Mrs) Rose McNeil, Horsham, West Sussex