Recently I had a discussion (it was not quite an argument) with someone of a loosely atheistic persuasion, who felt that believing in God infantilised people – it stripped us of responsibility and autonomy and therefore of maturity. I am not even going to begin to say which part of this statement I think is the most egregious nonsense; this is simply the context for what I want to write about.

Because he went on to say that Christians were the worst in this respect: they embraced their own infantilism by calling God “Father” and, shamelessly in his view, identifying themselves as God’s “children”. All this made me think about a very odd quirk of English idiom. When I use the word “child” or “children” in general I am definitely thinking of a human being younger than about 13 or 14, after which they become youths or adolescents. But if anyone asks me how many children I have I would never say “none”. I would naturally say “two”.

My children are 42 and 34, neither of them live with, or even near, me. I have no financial commitment to either of them; one of them is married and lives on a different continent; the other at this moment is somewhere beyond internet or mobile phone contact in central Asia on a 500-plus mile solo trek through some of the most dangerous territory in the world. They are grown-ups.