Once there must have been life before Rio, a time when one was not adhered to the sofa 16 hours a day watching Czech judokas and tiny Thai weightlifters and slalom canoeists from Stoke do their weird and wonderful things. It is just hard to remember it. Much like the Olympics coming to your city, the television coverage of the Games is an occupying power that exerts totalitarian dominance, demands complete fealty and, come to think of it, wants lots of public money. In the face of the BBC’s blanket coverage, resistance has been useless. Wake up and pay attention, citizen, for Clare is bringing you news of a possible medal situation involving a charismatic young frisbee thrower from Auchtermuchty.

During and after the London 2012 Games, many people were struck by how much we really liked, for instance, Jessica Ennis, and how dedicated and brilliant and unspoilt she seemed. Especially when compared to footballers. The nation was encouraged to contrast Jessica with, for instance, the Chelsea and sometimes England football captain John Terry: part of a national side whose only achievement is to find ever more bathetic ways to fail.