It is lucky for you that I was not delivering my column last week rather than this week, because last week was appalling – and it would have been a disgruntled, grouchy column at best. The western end of Dumfries and Galloway, which has been heroically holding its Covid transmission rates down, suddenly (and inexplicably) became a “hotspot” and we were jumped up from Tier 2 to Tier 4. My chimney is leaking so I cannot use my fireplace. Mass is off again. The weather is spectacularly dire. BT offered me a “broadband update” so that I would have full bandwidth and speed (though still no mobile signal) – and informed me that it would cost “in excess of £20,000” although I might be eligible for a £3,400 grant. And my car failed its MOT test – terminally, irreparably. Since I live over five miles from even a tiny village shop, life is not really safe or sustainable without one.