There is no such thing as an "average" or even "normal" marriage, the Archbishop of Westminster said today.
Speaking at the World Meeting of Families in Dublin, Cardinal Vincent Nichols said: "Every one is different. And all will have within them times or areas of difficulty and difference."
In a keynote address entitled "Support and Preparation for Marriage in the Light of Amoris Laetitia", the cardinal said sources of support for couples and families are often needed.
"They are ‘on offer’ in a parish but never to be forced. A parish school can be a great source of such support, offering chances for mothers to meet together, to pray together (Have you heard of the movement called Mothers’ Prayers? - well worth discovering!), to support each other, even if just at the school gate. But why not invite them in!"
He continued: "Parish support can be so important if one spouse comes from a different faith background. Showing respect, talking about shared values, leaving time for questions are all important aspects of pastoral support. After all, love is always a gift of God. Such moments emerge if, for example, a parish carries out sacramental preparation in a family format, with sessions for parents as well as children. These are great, not least for parents who have drifted away from the practice of their faith but who want to do their very best for their children. Many precious moments have occurred in such sessions."
Cardinal Nichols said it is impossible to speak about marriage and family life without a word about fragility and brokenness.
"Here we touch on one of the great themes of this Pontificate: the mercy of God. Pope Francis goes as far as to say that the name of God is mercy, for mercy is the shape, the form, taken by the love of God when it meets and embraces our failure and sin.
"Many are tempted to ask: ‘Can I be broken, fragile, and holy?’ Yes. We may indeed carry a deep sense of failure, guilt or shame. We may judge ourselves to be unworthy. This is what we bring to the Lord, for holiness is His business. We are recipients, receivers of His mercy and therefore of His holiness. Pope Francis affirms that all of family life can be a ‘shepherding in mercy’, and in that way powerfully reflects the truth of our loving Father. Today, this is often our biggest challenge."
Cardinal Nichols also described how, as a young priest, he gave a sermon about family life. Standing at the door of the church after Mass, many people thanked him for his remarks. But not everyone. He said: "I remember one older lady, a grandmother, who did not do so. As she passed by, in typical Liverpool fashion, she remarked in a voice loud enough for me to hear: "I only wish I knew as little as he does!"
The Tablet at WMOF2018
The Tablet is at the World Meeting of Families. Come and say "hello" – the main exhibition area - stand 91