Truly, in football, there’s always someone worse off than yourself

20 May 2026, The Tablet

Truly, in football, there’s always someone worse off than yourself. Unless, that is, your team is Heart of Midlothian

In the autumn of 1992 I cycled from London to Zagreb. Why? Long story. Anyway, I wound up in Prague one evening, saddle-sore and somewhat lonesome. I’d spent many nights sitting alone in bars and restaurants in big towns and small since I’d pedalled off the ferry in Hamburg a couple of weeks before. I got a beer, ordered some food, and opened my book. After a day’s cycling I usually nodded off within a couple of hours and soon repaired to bed. Not tonight. It must have been two in the morning when I rolled in. Then again, it might have been earlier or later; the details are as hazy now as they were the following morning.

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