“Is someone on the roof?” our Surrey niece asked. She was staying with us for a few days. I hurried upstairs to hear something bouncing heavily down the roof tiles. I sighed. “Wood pigeons,” I told her. I’ll come clean: sometimes I get annoyed by wood pigeons. For a start, when they land on the house, they really do sound like a particularly clumsy human intruder; either that or a mob of squirrels trying to break into the loft; or a set of rats on pogo sticks.