Sue Oakley’s letter, “Time to grow up” (31 October), represents so many Catholics that it is worth examining. Of divorced and remarried Catholics she writes: “More and more married couples – whatever situation they find themselves in - make up their own minds about the matter ... and, like contraception, no longer see it as an issue to be debated.”Forget divorce and remarriage and contraception for a moment. Many church-going Catholics say: “I haven’t been to Confession for years”, yet see no problem in going to Communion. Are these people who have “grown up”? Oakley writes: “Receiving Communion is ... an essential part of our developing relationship with God.” But isn’t it the summit of all our possible h