Before deciding to proceed along the journey to annulment (“A question of validity”, Parish Practice”, 25 October) couples need to become fully informed of the negative aspects of the process – the lengthy form filling, the highly personal nature of the questioning, the awareness that old wounds may be opened and whole families affected, with the resurfacing of bitterness and resentments long thought dead. When I married my husband, a divorced Anglican, 38 years ago, we explored the process and, thank God, decided not to go down that route, even though we were told there would be no difficulties. Instead we were married “in secret” by a Catholic priest in a Catholic church in another diocese, just the three of us, with a register office legal marr