The night is drawing in and there is a half moon visible as I stand and look over the River Mersey. I am in Liverpool for the annual conference of the Royal College of General Practitioners. Leaning on the railings I think about the painting of ‘The Family of Darius before Alexander’ that was used earlier today at the conference to illustrate compassion. It captures the moment the victorious Alexander forgives the family of Darius for failing to recognise him. We were being encouraged to be compassionate in our care as doctors. Further secular discussion followed over a painting of Daniel Bonnell's ‘The Moon and the Good Samaritan’ (left), where, for the second time that day reference was made to the parable in St Luke’s Gospel.
The first reference to compassion had come earlier that day, on the other side of the Mersey, where I had been at my four-year-old nephew’s first school Mass. The Gospel had featured the Good Samaritan. Afterwards, the children were asked why they were having Mass. ‘To say sorry’ was the most common answer. The priest built on the children’s remarks and encouraged them to remember to love God and love their neighbour.
Why do I mention these events? A couple of hundred miles along the same coastline is another diocese, one which is now sadly without its bishop. The internet is awash with comment that seems to lack any form of compassion. Knowing this is directed to someone I respect is especially hard. Since first meeting Bishop Kieran Conry in Lourdes a number of years ago I would look forward to joining his diocese’s liturgies when I was not on duty. I was always welcomed. Kieran is very pastoral. He speaks wisely from the heart and tries to put across the faith that he knows in a way that can be readily understood and lived. His words resonate. Not one to dwell on human failings, he would speak positively. We already know certain subjects were not given priority, but personal circumstances may have shaped other words that were spoken. Perhaps in his own life he had seen a way of making sense of events and wanted to share some of this. Our interior disposition, continually shaped by God, can guide in unexpected ways. Brother Roger of Taizé used to remind us not to consider our neighbours just at one moment in their lives but over their entire existence. That advice would be in keeping with the message of the Gospel that I experienced today in word and art.
The brief conversations I have had with Kieran over the years can’t be undone; the cakes that he recommended we bake to celebrate the new Pope (and simultaneously a new nephew in my case) can’t be unbaked. I still smile when I think of the evangelisation that occurred at my practice and my athletics track that day through home baking.
Kieran asked for our prayers. I hope there will be reconciliation between everyone involved. What better demonstration could there be of our faith if wrongs could be righted? I wonder what the Pope will decide with regard to the resignation. There is another parable in the Gospel, of the Prodigal Son. Perhaps the time will yet come to stock up on flour and eggs.
Mark Coley is a GP in Wilmslow, Cheshire
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User comments (18)
Josie, rest assured allowing priests to marry will not 'stop temptation'! Look all around you...
Bishop Kieran , should be allowed to stay as a deacon in the Church he has a lot to offer, yes we should forgive him we are all human beings and open to temptation .anyway its about time that the Catholics allowed their priests to get married, and stop temptation they are men.after all
Wrongs might be righted but it might be a good start if the Bishop asked the forgiveness of the husband and children of the family involved.
We Catholics have great capacity for humbug. And it was that capacity, in my opinion, that allowed terrible sins against vulnerable children to go unpunished.
While everyone says what a great Bishop +K was, he lived a lie and managed to compromise his position with a very pathetic comment that he had managed to compartmentalize his life. Did the Bishop preaching "live the Gospel" realize that this is the antithesis of the Gospel? He has scandalized the thousands of young people he confirmed and caused huge hurt in his Diocese.
All of which makes me think how ill-served we are In England by Bishops. Let's be clear - Conry would not have admitted his fault until he was 'outed' by the Daily Mail.
The present system is useless and causes total frustration among clergy
Sure we can. Just like the state forgives your driving offenses, but you still have to PAY UP the fine. In fact, Sometimes they actually TAKE AWAY YOUR LICENSE, and you're barred from further driving. So Kieran can still leave his ministry, which he has so appallingly and repeatedly and obstinately disgraced. Is is not fit for the responsibility of being a Bishop, or even a priest, for that matter. by his vow of Celibacy, he MARRIES HIMSELF TO THE CHURCH AND TO HIS VOCATION. THAT is the ONLY acceptable priority for a priest OR bishop, who is supposed to be the servant of his people first, not his wife or MISTRESS. 100% forgiven, no one is perfect, least of all myself. But I'M NOT A PRIEST. HE IS. And there's a penalty to be paid.
“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
It seems to me that Christian forgiveness is a way of being - “Jesus said to him, ‘not seven times, I tell you, but seventy-seven’”; rather than a self-styled and arbitrary response to the hurts that beset us.
In other words, if we are not infused with this virtue then we tend to approach forgiveness as a series of choices based on the degree of hurt caused, and the type of person doing the hurting; forgiveness becomes conditional. Thus, sentiments like these prevail, “Many of his flock would find it easier to forgive if he showed more contrition”; and, “Of course we should forgive, but ...”
But who are we not to forgive.
My take on Jesus’ response to Peter’s question is that we, who profess to be followers of the Master, are being asked to be in a constant state of forgiveness. One might even say, “The price of peace is eternal forgiveness.”
I’m loath to purvey a sentimental simplicity here. Being hurt, hurts. Being hurt a lot, hurts a lot! And when someone ‘who should know better’ fails, then we experience an acute sense of loss and betrayal. We understand ‘bad’ people doing rotten, shameful things, but role models; that’s a different kind of hurt. Role models aren’t allowed to do that. No wonder the stone-throwing anger.
In the end, I like the idea of sitting in the pew next to that publican and quietly praying, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.”
As a woman I seem to detect a possible lack of concern or awareness in the statements from Kieran that he has abused his considerable power in involving himself with a number of women from within his pastoral remit. Similar behaviour by secular professionals would result in de-registration from professional registers as it is seen as abusive. They would not have the expectation as Kieran possibly seems to have that he can now just carry on as a priest in good standing. For sure mandatory celibacy is too tough an ask for many but his behaviour should now receive severe censorship from all including other bishops if they are to keep our trust – and yes so we can then really start to forgive Kieran.
Of course we can and should forgive Bishop Conry.
But can, or should we, forgive a church with a self-perpetuating clericalist state that demands behavior of so many young men who naively make the "choice" long before they know the conditions of aloneness under which they will live for the rest of their lives? If so, why not the same for the Eastern Rite priests?
As Franklin Roosevelt is famous for having said in a different context: We having nothing to fear but fear itself.
A fear clergy structure is a sad clergy structure indeed.
Of course we must show compassion towards Bishop Kieran. However, it now appears that he has lived a lie for a considerable period of time. He only offered his resignation when found out by the Press. His self-serving statements, together with his willingness to threaten the Press with legal action compound the offense. He has betrayed his vows, his Priests and his congregations. Many of his flock would find it easier to forgive if he showed more contrition.
“There seems to be little sympathy for priests who break their vows. There's usually a sense of relief on one hand - we are as human as everyone else - and disappointment on the other hand that we are as human as everyone else. If you want us to hold the line, if you would like to measure your own success against our failings, go ahead; it's a mugs game though." (Rev Peter Owen Jones, "Small Boat, Big Sea")
While it's tempting - and easy - to tear down 'idols' who fall; it is also an immature and superficial response.The propensity to place others on a pedestal is, indeed, a "mugs game"; one best left to children. Adults know that failing, while not much fun, is inevitable. What also needs to be inevitable is forgiveness and compassion.
The spiritual life requires of us to be childlike, not childish.
Children throw stones. Adults no better … surely?
Fr Peter Day
Australia
Whatever the circumstances and the huge personal cost of the ensuing publicity for +Kieran, it is to be hoped that those in his diocese and beyond will extend forgiveness, love and care to a man who has served them well.
Well said, Mark. Having had the privilege of spending many Lourdes pilgrimages with Bishop Kieran I personally find it intensely distressing that the church family should have to lose a man who lives such a profound and human ministry.
The feeling in our parish, I must say, has been overwhelming one of empathy rather than judgement. And while empathetic reaction is encouraging I, too, would rather see a spot of compassionate action. It is after all what we as Christians are called to do - to change the world through love, compassion and truth - not to sit back and watch or take the path of least resistance in saying, ‘It must be a difficult time for him… but he should have done X’ or ‘but those are the rules’ or ‘but what can you do?’. If we don’t do or say anything, how are we ever going to change anything?
Writing this response brought to mind the words of Karen Armstrong, (Charter of Compassion, 2009). She says, ‘religions have always stressed that compassion is not only central to religious life, it is the key to enlightenment and it the true test of spirituality. But there have always have been those who'd rather put easier goals, like doctrine conformity, in place.’ Wouldn’t it be sad if our Christian family was accused of valuing doctrine conformity more highly than compassion?
Among the usual social media gossip, the comment I found the most disturbing was the one that simply said ‘Who cares?’ We should care. He’s our bishop and he’s part of our family.
Let he who is without sin....very easy to draw lines in the sand here. Mercy needs to reign over justice.
He has messed up same as most of us have at sometime in our lives.We do not have a choice but to forgive.What we must ensure that the man is not lost to the church because of a few months of madness.
This is the 4th Priest in 10 years to whom I've known personally to have left their position in the church, although the other 3 left to fulfil their life through the sacrament of Marriage, the shocking revelations of Bishop Conry are one where he seems arrogant about his behaviour. A man I have met on several occasions and as I saw as a pioneer for young catholics as myself with my diocese of Shrewsbury we are deeply shocked and some appalled. Bishop Conry lead a joint mass in Lourdes this year which was full of heartfelt positive speaking of the way the church was heading without dwelling on evils of the past or a continuous tongue around the ideology of "sin".
Reading your article highlights an underlying problem, but it's more simple than you state. As long as men (priests) have temptation the more regular occurrence this will be. Sadly we have lost a great representative for those who were in an element of limbo in the direction the church as a whole is directing itself.
We don't know any details about Bishop Kieran's resignation, but another good pastoral caring priest has been lost to the church Join the exodus...
Mark, I share your sentiments and I very much regret that several people have jumped on pet bandwagons to argue this way and that in favour of married clergy or return to preVatican II ways.
Bishop Conroy was inspirational in many respects. I wish I'm well wherever The Lord takes him.
If he decides to follow in the footsteps of Bishop Eamon Casey he will continue to provide good ministry to the marginalised. Unfortunately Bishop Casey is still somewhat ostracised by the Irish hierarchy who seem to feel he brought great shame upon them.
Bishop Conroy deserves the encouragement of all of us to put the unfortunate mistakes of the past behind him and continue in active ministry.
A former PP where I worked over twenty years ago moved diocese when it was discovered that he fathered children. he went into prison ministry before eventually returning in old age to parish ministry. His prison ministry income allowed him to provide for his children. I have no doubt that after the initial scandal he was forgiven by his former parishioners and others hugely hurt by his actions.
God will always find a way forward.
"Can we have forgiveness for Bishop Kieran?"
Forgiving the bishop for his actions would be much easier if he'd had the decency to offer his resignation years ago.